I always have to smile when I think about my life and the way some things have turned out and some of the things I've been allowed to be a part of... it's just so completely different from anything I could've ever imagined or expected. I think that's one of my favorite things about how God works though. He always goes above and beyond, it's just who He is. My job is an example of this. Anyone that knew me in school was a little surprised when they found out I took a job teaching special ed preschool, because I was pretty adamant about wanting to teach somewhere from 4th to 8th grade. The way the job came about and how it all worked out was so a God thing, I can't deny that. If this wasn't the job God had for me at this time then I certainly would not have survived to my third year! I have a whole list of things I could go on about, but for now I'm talking about my travels with Fight the Fade. If you don't know who they are then you definitely should check them out, they're on facebook, and myspace, and at fightthefade.com. A fun part of this experience has been watching the band develop. I remember two years ago at the block party at True Vine when they were just the Jason C. McPhail band. They are sooo different now than the group that played that night! I've always made an effort to go to as many shows as I can to show my support, because it's a ministry I really believe in, but in the past few months I've had the opportunity to travel with them more and participate more, rather than just being a spectator. You may not think that there would be a lot to learn travelling with a Christian rock band, but believe me there are! And I just told someone I wouldn't tell any secrets, so just know I've learned a bit more than I'm actually going to share :)
I've learned that there will always be a group of girls that argue whether Chris or Tyler is better looking lol. That Tyler can spin around on stage looking completely out of control, but manage not to fall or hit anyone. That Jason can be standing still and fall :). That Chris will always throw at least one drumstick, and definitely break more than that. That Trevor will always look for something really tall to jump from, and that I pretty much always hold my breath til he has landed without dying or killing anyone else. That if it is dark, and B-way is dressed in dark colors and closes his eyes you cannot see him. And that if he sees a friend in an awkward situation, rather than bailing them out, he'll just watch and most likely film it to share with the facebook world. That Jason will almost always say something that leaves the rest of us wondering about him...(of course, that is true all of the time, and not just during FTF stuff lol). That "boys will be boys" applies no matter the age of the "boy"... That Julie and I never seem to run out of things to talk about, or new schemes to scheme (underprivileged underachievers charter school...or Afghanistan, right? ;) lol) I've also learned that as much as I love the songs they have written, the worship/invitation part of the show is still one of my favorites... and I've learned, or really re-learned that God can use anyone to do His work as long as they are willing and obedient.
I've had the privilege of praying with girls at a few shows, and I still remember all of their names and something about their story. One of the things I find the hardest is that for a moment I can hear their story and join with them in praying about their struggles, hardships, and the hopes they have for themselves...but then I leave, most likely never to see them again, and never knowing what happens with them after that night. That's why I really make it a point to try to remember their names, so that when I think of them I can still pray for them by name. I know that God would know who I was talking about if I just said, "That girl from McAlester, or the ones in Hugo, or Broken Bow...or even Shawnee." I just prefer the personal approach. And that's something else I'm always reminded of... I can't do anything to help them. I think praying with someone when they are going through something is comforting because it's a person you can see and hug on, but really my praying isn't what makes anything better. It's all God. And I have to trust Him to continue to protect those girls and surround them with love even though I will never know what happens with them after that night. This past weekend I also realized something else, and it was actually while I was praying. I think I mentioned in a past post about a girl I prayed with that after sharing all the drama in her life with me said, "I just want to show God's love to everyone" and that was such an encouragement to me. Here she was just 13 years old, and she was dealing with a lot, but she absolutely lit up when she talked about showing God's love to everyone. I always address the requests the girls have when we pray together, but I also pray that God surrounds them with Christians that will encourage and lift them up, that they will feel overwhelmed with His love for them, that they will know the peace He gives and that they will know His strength. As I prayed with a girl on Saturday it struck me that many times the things I am praying for them I also want for myself...yet I never pray them for myself. I feel a little selfish praying those things for myself, but I realized that I also feel like I don't deserve those things. And that makes me a hypocrite, which I cannot stand. How can I tell these girls to believe that God is with them always, that He loves them more than anything, and that He will give them all they need, when I am not always believing those things myself? It's frustrating to me when I realize these things, because it seems like I should get them by now. However, I'm also thankful for these learning experiences, because life is a process and it just means I am continuing to be refined. I love the fact that I can never stop learning more about my God. That's exciting to me. And I just find it slightly amusing that here lately a lot of my learning experiences have taken place at rock shows :).
